Hows tumblin without the titties? Yall still finding fulfilment up in hurr?

ab02djeter:

Ok no lie I have been having a mental breakdown all morning and I finally wrote someone that I love a birthday letter and thenbjerked off for a while and put on some of the stupidest music in the world and I now I think might live

Don’t get it twisted, I’m still someone you should keep in your prayers

say it again, motherfucker.

Holy shit, i have never been this insane with this much to lose in my life. What a delicate balance. Quite unsustainable. I need therapy so bad but i feel fucking helpless right now. I only can do school and self medicate and freak out a lot. Not able to hide it at school so we’ll anymore. And like I have no one to talk to. I don’t fit in anywhere anymore. Not here or anywhere. I’m finding that a ton of trauma from my past is flexing on me while I navigate a lot of shit in the here and now. I’m over halfway through a really hard school program.. and with that on top of everything, I pretty much can’t even right now in the most serious sense that stupid fucking phrase has ever meant. 3.89 GPA who cares about any other facet of me? No one I know. People are weak and don’t know how to deal with real shit. I’m people too but really whole generations live and die and and still people couldn’t get past the surface of how the fuck to heal themselves or help any one else. Life is short and our time is mostly wasted.

“I’m gonna tuck you under my hairy armpit and teach you all about riot grrl and what direction north is”– me, to a sweet and insecure classmate almost 20 years my junior

I feel like I am screaming internally in past, present, and future tense, all at the same time.

the older I get, the more complicated everything feels, as i watch the time slip away. i think my mental illness is in full bloom and it’s never been more important to hide it. family and school are just both so intense. I have plenty to be grateful for, but I’ve been going more for the jaded and anxious vibe lately. I could whine more specifically but I really need to quit screwing around and study. not in the mood to study, though, thanks to an uninvited wave of vague sadness settling into my entire body surface.. the kind of sadness that only gets chased off by a good cry and then going to dig in the dirt. My GPA and my yard are each quite beautiful, but they both can attribute that to many months, and many days of anxiety and pent up frustration, while I sacrifice my very limited time pouring my valuable energy into only a fraction of the places it really should go.

genius at work someone please buy me a bed desk because it’s really a pain in the ass to build one from over 9 pillows and a cardboard box every time I have to get up